It turns out that the Kona Factory Team riders are supposed to call in or write a report after their weekend events. These get published and sent to the sponsors, friends, etc. Erik was kind enough to send the newsletter on to me and gave me permission to post his race report. Without further ado …

All in all it was a success. Each one of the boys won race on Sunday. It started with me. Since I didn’t make it out there Saturday to “qualify” for the silly SS World Championships race, there was a last-ditch, winner-is-in qualifier for the victor of the Cross Crusade single-speed race. The Packers-Vikings game was on TV, so I watched the first half. I was conflicted to say the least. I tore myself away at the last second and arrived at the venue in my car only 5min. before the start. There was no time to change, so I stayed in my latest pair of super-pants and threw on my pre-pinned single-speed jersey. I powered the Kona Paddy Wagon–fixed-gear, of course–to a come from behind victory. I guess I did it the hard way. That’s the good news.

The bad news is that it toasted me a bit for the next event, the A Men’s race. Trebon naturally won it. All I can say is I held it together enough to finish somewhere in the top-10, and I proved I have some speed left by taking the first lap winner’s prime. I gunned it from, like, 10th wheel up to Ryan, who’d already dropped everybody, to get it at the line. Then he quickly dropped me, and I went backwards further.

Of course, I had to save something for my third race of the day and its premier event: the aforementioned silly World Single-Speed Cyclocross Championship. Barry took it in front of Adam Craig and Ryan. It really was a blast. For me, I somehow rode into the top-10 by virtue of utilizing the Tequila Shot Short-Cut during the race’s middle laps. I’m not a big drinker, so I Chevy-Chased the shot my first time thru, flipped-off the crowd gathered there, and was met with a barrage of whatever they could throw at me. The next time thru I said, “OK, OK: I’ll do it for real this time.” They force-fed me the double-shot, but I managed to choke up enough of it to spit what was left back into the crowd. Everybody loved that so much….I figured I’d better try to hide from the shortcut for awhile. I skipped it the next lap, but they were on to me: armed with head-sized rubber balls, one southpaw had pretty damn good aim, as he nailed me right in the nuts! But I kept her upright. My package still hurts, though.

Little did they know I was taking beer hand-ups on the run-up, which I was mostly riding (except when I wanted a beer hand-up, which was every other lap, at least). I was pretty lit by two to go: again, I aint’s no big drinker, so the alcohol and my sore solar-plexus tempered my “racing”. I guess the cramping didn’t help, either. A group of serious single-speeders caught me, so I don’t know where I finished. All I know is I completed the Hat Trick, so it was a good thing I raced in my Team S&M hockey jersey. So, too, did Barry. Un-choreographed, we both showed up sporting the old jerseys. It was sweet. I raced mine for all three events, and he wore his for both of his races. Barry rode his single-speed in the A race, but he took it easy late in the race: he caught up with me and then sat up. Adam rode his sweet single-speed in the A race, too, and he totally schooled me. I guess I was barely fit enough to do the first two races, let alone all three.

We also had a banner day at the shop on Sat. It was nothing but last-second ‘cross bike sales and single-speed conversions. It’s hard not to believe the hype these days. And I almost forgot: Green Bay went on to win 34-0. I taped the second-half and watched it when I got home. The nice thing about being a football fan at a Sunday bike race is there’s little risk of anybody spilling the beans. We’re 8 and 1: even though I’m from MN, the Pack is my team!

See ya!

3 Responses to “Erik Tonkin’s Estacada/SSWC race report”

  1. Martin says:

    Holy crap that was funny – well done Tonkin! The only bit you missed mentioning was Barry accepting (and wearing) his World Championship-striped speedo.

  2. josh says:

    keep on posting these if you can brooke, they are awesome to read.

  3. Anthony says:

    From Minnesota yet supports the Packers?? That’s just wrong, it really is wrong.

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