Yeah, I’ve gotten caught up following the circus around France. I paid attention to the classics and the Giro too but something about the tour gets me a little more excited. In the spirit of the tour, I present you a list of Chuck Norrisisms. All of these are the work of others — I claim no originality. However, they all made me laugh.
- Once Chuck Norris crashed in the Tour. The road got Chuck Norris rash.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t need to be aero because the wind gets out of his way
- Chuck Norris sweats pure EPO.
- Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a “Who has more testicles?” contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t chase down breakaways. Breakaways chase Chuck Norris.
- All 21 switch backs on Alp d’Huez are called Chuck Norris
- Hors catégorie is French for Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris finished the Tour de France yesterday.
- When they screen the riders’ blood for performance enhancing drugs, they’re looking for Chuck Norris.
Edit: Another one …
- Greg Lemond accused Chuck Norris of doping. No one knows what really happened but they have agreed to call it a hunting accident.